As previously reported, C4 - now FOUR - is going "more mainstream". You can say that again! Predictable, safe, boring as fuck.
How much reality can one nation take? This much and more, apparently:
1. America's Next Top Model
2. Models of the Runway
3. The Biggest Loser
4. Top Chef
5. Top Chef: Just Desserts
So, to summarise your obsessions - pretty people, pretty people, fat people trying to become pretty people, cooking and cooking desserts.
You also really like cartoons:
1. The Simpsons
2. American Dad
3. The Cleveland Show
4. Bob's Burgers
5. Neighbours from Hell
6. Futurama
7. South Park
Ok, I actually do really like cartoons so I'm glad FOUR's "growing up" has, counter-intuitively, involved two new cartoons. A little digging, however, reveals that Bob's Burgers was made as a replacement for my favourite TV show of all time, King of the Hill. Bob, you're on my hit list. I'd start double-checking your meat deliveries, boy.
You have terrible taste in comedy, did you know that? You love nothing better than to sit down to mind-numbingly awful american trash like:
1. Community (about some boring people going to community college)
2. Love Bites
3. How I Met Your Mother (Wow, Neil Patrick Harris wears a suit and acts like a misogynist. Hilarity!)
4. 30 Rock (I'm sorry, it's just not funny)
5. Friends With Benefits
6. Mixed Signals
7. Perfect Couples
8. Outsourced
9. The Office (not the good one, of course)
10. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
11. The Jono Project
12. Parks and Recreation (for some reason, this manages to tickle my funny bone. Amy Poehler just gets it right somehow)
In summary, you find nothing funnier than 30-somethings playing 20-somethings and having relationship dramas. Prime has just started replaying Home Improvement - switch over to see all the familiar situational setups, moral teachings and sanctimonious advice before they got recycled and updated with email and cell phones and Barack Obama references to bring you most of the above shows.
You're interest in medicos and cops seems to be waning, as you only want the following:
1. Covert Affairs
2. Mercy
3. The Good Guys
Only one medical drama, and only two cop dramas? What gives? Oh, I see, TV3 are trying to position themselves as "the cop drama channel" (with 14 cop shows scheduled for next year) and are only leaving meagre pickings for FOUR. Boo hoo, I need to see more murdered people! It's so uplifting!
Oh I see, so to beef up the crime drama stats you're going to give some ex-cop-now-in-ridiculous-situation shows a go too, since everyone liked Life on Mars so much. Or something.
1. The Gates (Small town cop runs up against vampires, werewolves et al)
2. The Cape (Supposedly dead ex-cop dresses up like a superhero)
3. The The (cop, ex-cop and ghost of ex-cops-dead-ex-cop-wife fight the scourge of internet movie piracy, and learn a little something along the way)
Ok, so I made that last one up on the spot. And it still sounds better than either The Gates or The Cape, dontcha think?
Then you have 90210, since the 90's was so awesome, Skins, since the 2000's were so awesome, and Misfits, since too much TV makes sense these days.
Well, congratulations FOUR. I can't say you've gone more mainstream because you already were the white lines in the middle of the road, but you sure have managed to offer me nothing I want to watch but cartoons. Remind me what's changed?
OK, Community is the funniest damn show I've seen in ages. Of course, I've already watched it [via entirely legal means, officer], so FOUR still has little appeal for me, but still -- funny.
ReplyDeleteOk, fair cop, I'm judging it without seeing it on the premise alone. If a comedy set in a nazi concentration camp can be funny, I suppose anything can.
ReplyDelete